I lean forward and gulp deep on my gin, the fluid warming me, numbing me to the proceedings ahead? Dutch courage? Not really? I have been here many times before. Why does he excite me so much, when all I feel is “dirty”? Suddenly Jason’s tumbler goes down firm on the table. It is the sign. I slowly stand, a bit wobbly on the heels due to the gin. I slide my fingers through my hair and run my hands round my neck and across my shoulders. I linger on my breasts and move down to my tummy and thighs. I catch the bottom of my dress and start to pull it up over my body. Before I can remove the dress he is there stopping me. I am exposed and restrained by him, holding my arms above my head and the dress twisted round my fingers. I know he is inspecting. His fingers brush my tummy, over my belly button, down to my freshly shaved area. I tense a bit as he slowly forces his finger along my folds. I gasp as his finger reaches the moistness and he glides right through my lips. I ask myself. ‘Not in here, I’m about to roast. Come outside with me.’ I didn’t give her a chance to say no, striding right by her. We went round to the side of the building to where I parked my bike. I sat down on the steps and looked up at her. ‘How are you, Cecilia?’ She hated it when I called her by her name instead of CeCe. ‘I’m pissed. Where were you last Sunday? I was home and wanted to spend time with you.’ ‘You said you weren’t coming home. I made other plans. You got home Friday, but didn’t even try to let me know until Sunday morning when you called the house. As hard as this may be to understand, I don’t sit by the phone hoping maybe once or twice a month you will call me so we can sneak around. I like you a lot, Cecelia, but we haven’t made any promises. Are you telling me the times you’re spending the weekends at school you just sit around the dorms? What do you want here?’ I think she expected me to apologize, not be direct. She got up and dusted off her jeans. ‘Well, if that’s how.
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